I see there is no pleasing you...

Me: "Evenin' sugar, cover is $10."
Random Ass Dude: "Wow, 'sugar'? Really? That's a little forward don't you think? You don't even know me!"
Me: All right asshole, cover is $10."
RAD: "Whoa, wait a minute. That's a little extreme. I mean, we can't find a happy medium?"
Me: "No. We can't."
RAD: "... ....... ........" *takes out wallet*

This Ain't Your House, Son.

Dude: "Is it okay to grill here?" Me: "I'm sorry, what?!" Dude "Like, if we had a grill. Can we bring it here and grill stuff?" Me: "Ummm, no!"
...DAFUQ?

Cheers to the dude who offered me 4 bananas and some sugar cane in lieu of paying a $5 cover!

"One day you'll come out of your cocoon, and you'll spread your wings and be a beautiful butterfly. 'Coz you're an adult." - Hunter

Shout out to the member of a local brass band who used his fame to avoid paying a $5 cover. You played at the Grammys, but you can't pay $5? Lovely.

"Why is there a cover on Sunday?"

And on the seventh day, God said: "Let there be no cover!" 

... HAHAHAHAHA, just kidding that never happened.

I despise stupid questions.

After a huge pop at the door some RAB walks up and says: "Is there REALLY a cover?" 

I replied: "Umm. Did you miss the line of people who just paid me? Did you think they were giving me Monopoly money!?"

RAB: "You don't have to be like that..."

Me: "I would be a lot nicer if people would stop asking me such stupid questions. Real talk."